We’re just a little more than a week away from the great façade of American democracy– where the largely indifferent voting public gets to choose between two identical and unremarkable candidates from the wealthy elite to misrepresent them for another four years.
On that note – we at Free Media Productions of course have our own endorsement we’d like to offer. We’re proud to lend our official endorsement to none other than the distinguishable Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska and former beauty queen. We looked at each of the candidates, spent hours upon hours reviewing their background, policy positions, and personalities, and came to the conclusion that only one candidate truly represents the best interest of the American nation and its people. Of course, that candidate is Sarah Palin.
For our readers, we thought we’d like to put together a more personal and intimate portrait of Ms. Palin. When compiling information on all the candidates, the following is what largely influenced us in our endorsement decision:
Name: Sarah Louise Heath Palin
Born: February 11, 1964 – Sandpoint, Idaho (yes, not a TRUE Alaskan).
Residence: Wasilla, AK
Political Party: Republican
Other Organizations: Boy Scouts of America, Wasilla Chamber of Commerce, Mothers Against Destructive Decisions (M.A.D.D.).
Current Political Office: Governor of Alaska, since 12/4/2006
Former political experience: Mayor of Wasilla, AK (1996-2002)
Citycouncil of Wasilla, AK (1992-1996)
We contacted the McCain/Palin campaign headquarters in hopes of getting an interview with Ms. Palin. I spoke to one of the staff-person who recorded my name and organization, but said that Ms. Palin was very busy campaigning in this “critical time” before the election. Needless to say, we won’t be getting our interview. But that’s okay, since we love her anyway.
We told the staff-person that we had a questionnaire we’d like Ms. Palin to fill out so we could consider her for our endorsement. So far, the questionnaire has not been returned.
But, that didn’t stop us! We decided, since none of the candidates responded to our requests (that’s democracy for you!) we’d go ahead and endorse Governor Palin anyways, due to her above-average intelligence and political acumen.
We feel that Sarah Palin is truly the most competent and honest politician this country has ever seen. Regardless of her portraiture in the liberal media – such as the myth that she didn’t know what exactly the Vice President is supposed to do, or her inability to name a single newspaper source that she likes to reference. Other disgusting rumors, like how she abused her power in dealings with a certain state trooper, or how she’s known to get excessively moist downstairs when reading from the Good Book, didn’t influence us one bit!